Ned Pepper: What's your intention? Do you think one on four is a dogpaw?
Rooster Cogburn: I mean to kill you in one minute, Ned. Or see you hanged in Fort Smith at Judge Parker's convenience. Which'll it be?
Ned Pepper: I call that bold talk for a one-eyed fat man!
Rooster Cogburn: Fill your hand, you son of a bitch!
Butch: Man, I got vision and the rest of the world wears bifocals.
Squadron Leader Canfield: The engine's overheating, and so am I! Either we stand down, or blow up! Now which do you want?
Dutch Engstrom: They'll be waitin' for us.
Pike Bishop: I wouldn't have it any other way.
Teddy Lloyd: A man with a wife and six children plus a schoolgirl for a mistress can be called any number of rude names, but "coward" is not one of them.
Billy: You must be some important dude, man. Like, that treatment.
George Hanson: Dude? What does he mean, dude? Dude ranch?
Billy: Dude.
Captain America: Hell no. Dude means - nice guy, you know. Dude means: regular sort of person.
George Hanson: Well, you boys don't look like you're from this part of the country.
Alice Henderson: Listen! You tell me why do you think we come out here?
Carol Sanders: To have fun.
Alice Henderson: And what is more fun than an orgy! Orgy.
Clayton Stone: Jesus, fifty-five minutes... We'll be pretty cold by then.
Buzz Lloyd: Well, one of us' gonna have to go. I mean uh... that's what we're talkin' about, isnt it? One of us goes and the... other two stay. What... what are we gonna do?
Clayton Stone: Alright look. Let's do this scientifically: two big guys throw the little guy out, okay?
Professor Richter: I have become the victim of everything that Frankenstein and I ever advocated. My brain is in someone else's body.
The Count: The Maldorais line must continue, and God must know where the Americans fit. Americans are brave, and that is why they seem like children. They are young, wild animals, so what can you expect?.. I expect a child.
Capt. Otto Baumann: Farce! Where are the bombers? Our reinforcements? This is the most important place in Germany, and what do we have to fight with? Old men, riff-raff, the sweepings from the road.
Major Paul Kreuger: And you, Baumann. Will you fight as hard as you talk?
Capt. Otto Baumann: You will find out when we attack.
Willie Boy: Indian's don't last in prison. They weren't born for it like the whites.
Agnes: If sex were the only thing that really mattered, the whole world would be run by rabbits.
Brenda Patimkin: Look, I'm not gonna take the pills, and that's the end of it. In the first place, you don't just take the pills: you have to start taking them at a specific time.
Neil Klugman: You get a diaphragm.
Joe Buck: Uh, well, sir, I ain't a f'real cowboy. But I am one helluva stud.
King Henry viii: I am accursed! A live daughter and a dead son! Did I accept excommunication for this? Did I send More and Houghton and Fisher to their deaths for this? She cannot give me a living son! Very well then, if she cannot give me a male heir, I shall rid myself of her.
Linus Van Pelt: Life is difficult, isn't it, Charlie Brown?
Charlie Brown: Yes, it is. But I've developed a new philosophy. I only dread one day at a time.
William Simon aka Billy Bright: I could have been a millionaire.
Martin 'Cockeye' Van Buren: Then, why didn't you do it, then?
William Simon aka Billy Bright: Because I listened to dumbbells like you, that's why?
Martin 'Cockeye' Van Buren: If I'm such a dumbbell, why'd you listen?
William Simon aka Billy Bright: Because I was a bigger dumbbell.