Mark Thackeray: Marriage is not for the weak, the selfish, the insecure.
Col. Everett Dasher Breed: Reisman! Some people may consider you a first-class officer. But as far as I'm concerned, you're a disorganized, undisciplined clown. I'm gonna' make it my business to run you out of this Army.
Major John Reisman: I owe you an apology, colonel. I always thought that you were a cold, unimaginative, tight-lipped officer. But you're really quite emotional, aren't you?
Chief Gillespie: What do they call you up there?
Virgil Tibbs: They call me MISTER Tibbs!
King Arthur: I can't quite remember all that Merlyn taught me, but I do remember this. That happiness is a virtue. No one can be happy and wicked. Triumphant, perhaps, but not happy.
Helen Lawson: I'll go out - the way I came in.
Captain: What we've got here is failure to communicate.
Scott Heyward: You know something, Pa? I would have traded everything you've ever given me for one thing - for trust in me.
Duster Heyward: Well, what are you talkin', son? I've always trusted ya. I was just tryin' to make things easy is all.
Scott Heyward: That's just it, Pa. I don't want things easy. I want to be able to make my own mistakes and work 'em out.
Mark Wallace: If there's one thing I really despise, it's an indispensable woman.
Mike Talman: Damn it, you act as if you're in kindergarten! This is the big bad world, full of mean people, where nasty things happen.
Susy Hendrix: Now you tell me.
Marquis de Sade: Man has given a false importance to death. Any animal, man or plant that dies adds to Nature's compost heap becomes the manure without which nothing could grow, nothing could be created. Death is simply part of the process. Every death, even the cruellest death drowns in the total indifference of Nature. Nature would watch unmoved if we destroyed the entire human race. I hate Nature.
Buck Henry: Are you here for an affair, sir?
Clyde Barrow: This here's Miss Bonnie Parker. I'm Clyde Barrow. We rob banks.
Doctor Hertz: Oh, it's magic.
Baron Frankenstein: Everything we don't understand is magic - until we understand it.
Doctor Hertz: To me, it's magic. All of this.
Baron Frankenstein: Until we understand it and master it.
Narrator: This old world has seen a lot of changes since Teddy Roosevelt's day, but his dream came true, and the Grand Canyon will stay the same, as long as there is a world. Brighty has long since left this earth, but some animals, like some men, leave a trail of glory behind them. They give their spirit to the place where they had lived, a part of the rocks and steams and the wind and the sky. Brighty's spirit lives on, forever wild, forever free.
Dick: I don't know gold dust from diarrhea.
Matt Drayton: When I had ice cream before, I had a special kind of flavor that I liked very much but I can't remember what it was.
Carhop: I'll bring you the list, sir.
Matt Drayton: Oh no. You - you must know what it is.
Carhop: Daquiri Ice, Honeycomb Candy, Cocoa, Coconut, Jamocha Almond Fudge, Mocha Jamocha, Peanut Butter and Jelly, Cinnamon, Banana Mint.
Matt Drayton: Must've been some other place.
Reporter: Y'know some are sayin' that it really was the cops who shot those men.
Bugs Moran: You must be new to this town, mister. Only Al Capone kills like that.