Lt. Rip Crandall: This hulk is commissioned? As what?
Ens. Tommy J. Hanson: It's unclassified, sir.
Lt. Rip Crandall: Uncla-? I can believe that.
Victor Rhyall, Earl: Sellers, have you seen my bible?
Trevor Sellers, the Butler: I'm afraid I've got it. I wanted to look something up.
Victor Rhyall, Earl: First you borrow my times, now you pinch my bible. That's democracy running amok.
Trevor Sellers, the Butler: I'm extremely sorry, Mylord. I'll put it back beside your bed.
Victor Rhyall, Earl: Anyway, you should have a bible of your own.
Trevor Sellers, the Butler: Well, the one you're using is mine, Mylord.
Tom, the Bartender: Without her this place is dead. She's like catnip to every cat in town.
Bugs Bunny: Like the man said: Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out of it alive.
Archie Rice: Anyway, you can't get draught Bass in Canada... I went to Canada during the war. Couldn't get draught Bass, not even in Toronto.
Mrs. Stephens: Take me to your cinema.
Ella: Did you ever try wearin' a suit?
Blake Barton: A suit?
Ella: A suit - s, u, t.
The Rev Fowler: I'll remember you all tonight in my prayers, boys.
Dodger: We'll be lucky if he remembers us after the second pint.
Oscar Wilde: Iced champagne is a favorite drink of mine, much against my doctor's orders.
Sir Edward Carson: Never mind your doctor's orders.
Oscar Wilde: I never do.
Mrs. Restes: You'll miss my wedding.
Jimmy Foster: Mother, I have never missed one of your weddings.
Mrs. Restes: Yes, you did. My first one.
Cheryl Heath: I just love banana splits. Is it all the wonderful mixed-up flavors, or is it something Freudian?
Hannah Hunnicutt: I haven't lived with your father since before you were born.
Franklin Delano Roosevelt: I have no personal complaints. I'm lucky. I had rich parents.
Buck Zorba: There's furniture and books and most of it I haven't even seen yet.