Mark McPherson: I suspect nobody and everybody. I am strictly trying to get at the truth.
Mrs. Brown: What's the meaning of goodness if there isn't a little badness to overcome?
Professor Henry Holmes: Now I know why the Democratic Party chose a jackass for a mascot.
Aunt Martha: For a gallon of elderberry wine, I take one teaspoon full of arsenic, then add half a teaspoon full of strychnine, and then just a pinch of cyanide.
Mortimer Brewster: Hmm. Should have quite a kick.
Gregory Anton: I knew from the first moment I saw you that you were dangerous to me.
Brian Cameron: I knew from the first moment I saw you that you were dangerous to her.
Agnes Smith: Katie, where's my cat?
Katie the Maid: I don't know... a little while ago, she got in my way and I kicked her down the cellar steps. I could hear her spine hitting on every step.
Agnes Smith: Oh, if you killed her, I'll kill you! I'll stab you to death in your sleep, then I'll tie your body to two wild horses until you're pulled apart.
Katie the Maid: Oh, won't that be terrible, now? There's your cat.
Barton Keyes: Walter, you're all washed up.
Slade: Haven't you enough men at your feet already?
Elmer Fudd: Which way did he go? Which way did he go?
Philip Marlowe: She had more than a figure too. Not a beautiful face, but a good face. She had a face like a Sunday School picnic. You have any idea what kind of face that is, Nulty?
Detective Nulty: I wouldn't know.
Little Red Riding Hood: Hey, Grandma! That's an awfully big set of teeth for you... to have.
Wolf: Ah, le adorable froufrou... GET OUT.
Sherlock Holmes: Watson, have you ever stopped to think that the science of detection is much like stringing a handful of beads?
Dr. John H. Watson: Can't say as I have.
Mark Twain: Ladies and gentlemen, William Shakespeare, the greatest author in the English language is dead...and I feel far from well myself.
Father Fitzgibbons: A golf course is nothing but a poolroom moved outdoors.
Rocklin: Touch that gun, and I'll kill you.
Richard Wanley: The flesh is still strong, but the spirit grows weaker by the hour. You know, even if the spirit of adventure should rise up before me and beckon, even in the form of that alluring young woman in the window next door, I'm afraid that all I'll do is clutch my coat a little tighter, mutter something idiotic and run like the devil.
Dr. Michael Barkstane: Not before you got her number, I hope?
Richard Wanley: Probably.
Willi Hilfe: We thought you'd been killed.
Stephen Neale: Not quite.
Bugs Bunny: You ain't got me yet, by Gum! He he he he! Ow, darn this lumbago.
Bugs Bunny: You're in for it now, Doc. It's the hot seat for you, sure.