Dr. Egas Gottreich: Here they store what came before. Pain and suffering from days of yore. Before and after, tears and laughter. After comes before, before comes after. Past and future and then, hereafter. The naked and the dead, the young and the old. Their stories end here, their tales untold. Here sickness and death Have left their pages. Written in blood for all the ages. Someday, your story will be here, too.
Chanel Oberlin: What fresh hell is this?
Lucien LaCroix: You don't look well, Don Constantine. Time's a bitch, isn't it?
Kate: Better dead than bored, right?
DEA Agent Denise: I understand we're both staying at the Great Northern. How's the food up there?
Dale Cooper: Denise, you're in for a big surprise.
Sheriff Truman: So are they.
The Devil: You don't have any friends, Ezekial. You're not only really dead, you're really most sincerely dead.
Ezekiel Stone: Isn't that from "The Wizard of Oz"?
The Devil: I hate that movie.
Joel Hammond: Okay, we say we came across this murder site and we're just cleaning it up.
Sheila Hammond: Who cleans up murder sites?
Joel: I don't know. We're Mormons?
Sheila: Mormons don't clean up murder sites.
Joel: Mormons are helpful.
Merton: From an old legend, and the third season of Buffy.
Harvey Denton: When I was younger I suffered terrible facial warts. I remember the whispered comments, "Here comes Harvey toadface." "Quick hide, toadface Denton is coming!"
Val Denton: And that was his mother and father.
Reverend Purdy: I destroy my enemy when I make him my friend.
Rod Serling: For those of you who've never met me, you might call me the under-nourished Alfred Hitchcock.
Simon Holmes: Sometimes I wish we collected stamps for fun, instead of battling the forces of weirdness.
Hemlock Diego's Policy Player's Dream Book - S2-E5
Olivia: Are you telling me I only have a couple of hundred years left?
Pryce: More like a normal human lifespan.
Olivia: Human lifespan is over like that. Hardly worth going to the trouble of being born.
Hannah: Hey, Alex. What's the matter? I told you I don't bite.
Leon Tyler: We need to cauterize the wound.
Thelma Bates: How do we do that?
Leon Tyler: Well, in star wars they used the light saber.