Tommy: What happened in the movie, Merton?
Herr Lip: You're not like the other queer boys.
Matthew: Pardon?
Herr Lip: Queer boys, the boys that sing in the queer.
Mary Jensen: Help me.
Peter Rickman: How?
Mary Jensen: Let Antubis help you.
Natalie: So, did you learn anything while you were dying on me?
Det. Nick Knight: Yeah, I learned that I have to live with the choice I made 800 years ago, and that forgiveness is not something you ask for, it's something that you earn here, among the living.
Fenella: There's always room for Pineapple Chuncks.
Dale Cooper: I believe I was visited by a giant last night. Twice.
FBI Agent Albert Rosenfield: Any relations with the dwarf?
Father Horn: The Devil, he appears to you as a man?
Ezekiel Stone: Yeah. He looks a lot like a kid I used to beat the crap out of in sixth grade... I'm sure that's on purpose.
Reverend Purdy: I destroy my enemy when I make him my friend.
Rod Serling: For those of you who've never met me, you might call me the under-nourished Alfred Hitchcock.
Simon Holmes: Sometimes I wish we collected stamps for fun, instead of battling the forces of weirdness.
Hemlock Diego's Policy Player's Dream Book - S2-E5
Olivia: Are you telling me I only have a couple of hundred years left?
Pryce: More like a normal human lifespan.
Olivia: Human lifespan is over like that. Hardly worth going to the trouble of being born.
Leon Tyler: We need to cauterize the wound.
Thelma Bates: How do we do that?
Leon Tyler: Well, in star wars they used the light saber.
Eric: Godric could have been king of Texas had he wanted. He could have been king of any vampire territory anywhere. He is twice as old as I am and very powerful. There are none above him in the new world.
Bill: Well if he's so powerful, how could they abduct him?
Eric: Now that is what worries me. If one such as he can be taken by humans, then none of us are safe.
Crypt Keeper: Heads, I win. Tails, you ooze.
Chanel Oberlin: What fresh hell is this?