Rod Serling: For those of you who've never met me, you might call me the under-nourished Alfred Hitchcock.
Hemlock Diego's Policy Player's Dream Book - S2-E5
Olivia: Are you telling me I only have a couple of hundred years left?
Pryce: More like a normal human lifespan.
Olivia: Human lifespan is over like that. Hardly worth going to the trouble of being born.
Edward: You people are all alike, You march in here, young! try and touch the local things. I suppose next you'll be spraying me with one of those cans of paint, smearing poor Tubbs here with excrement.
Dale Cooper: Ask me why I'm whittling.
Sheriff Truman: I give up. Why are you whittling?
Dale Cooper: Because that's what you do in a town where a yellow light still means slow down, not go faster.
Leon Tyler: We need to cauterize the wound.
Thelma Bates: How do we do that?
Leon Tyler: Well, in star wars they used the light saber.
Eric: Godric could have been king of Texas had he wanted. He could have been king of any vampire territory anywhere. He is twice as old as I am and very powerful. There are none above him in the new world.
Bill: Well if he's so powerful, how could they abduct him?
Eric: Now that is what worries me. If one such as he can be taken by humans, then none of us are safe.
Crypt Keeper: Heads, I win. Tails, you ooze.
Paul: You know, sometimes a guys just gotta set the world on fire, hey Rolfy. I wonder if there's a nice bottle of rubbing alcohol around here, and a match.
Tracy: Now that I've expressly told you I don't need your help... I need your help.
Ezekiel Stone: What the hell do you know about love?
The Devil: Love, the most delicious emotion of all. Without love you and I would be out of a job.
Chanel Oberlin: What fresh hell is this?
Fenella: Eustace has... dust allergies. Poor lamb. He must be having trouble... breathing.
Joel Hammond: Okay, we say we came across this murder site and we're just cleaning it up.
Sheila Hammond: Who cleans up murder sites?
Joel: I don't know. We're Mormons?
Sheila: Mormons don't clean up murder sites.
Joel: Mormons are helpful.
Merton: From an old legend, and the third season of Buffy.
Simon Holmes: Sometimes I wish we collected stamps for fun, instead of battling the forces of weirdness.