[Blackadder puts the phone down.]
Baldrick: Who was that?
Blackadder: Strangely enough Baldrick, that was his Holiness Pope Gregory IX, inviting me to join him for drinks aboard his steam yacht, the Saucy Sue, currently wintering in Montego Bay, with the England cricket team, and the Balinese Goddes of Plenty.
Baldrick: Really?
Blackadder: No, not really. I've been ordered to HQ - no doubt means that idiot General Melchett is about to offer me an attractive new opportunity to have my brains blown out for Britain.
Kunta Kinti: What's snow, Fiddler?
Fiddler: Never you mind, boy, never you mind. Let's get on back to home. I got enough trouble teaching you the difference between manure and massa. 'Course there ain't all that much difference when you gets right down to it.
Claudius: A man should keep faith with his friends, even when they're dead.
Titus Pullo: It's as hot as Vulcan's dick.
Guarnere: Jesus Christ, we gotta do all this with a C.O. who has his head so far up his fuckin' ass, that lump in his throat is his goddamn nose.
Abraham Lincoln: It's well known that the more a man speaks, the less he's understood.
Duke of Buckingham: I am a direct descendant of Edward II. This is MY crown.
Renee's Mother in Law: Oh, where is your "get-up-and-go"?
Ernest Leclerc: It has got up and gone.
Capt. Ronald Merrick: Are you one of those people who think that if you teach an Indian the rules of cricket he'll become an English gentleman?
Guy Perron: Hardly sir. I know quite a few English gentlemen who play cricket brilliantly but are absolute shits.
Vasco Rodrigues: Listen to me, you whore-gutted, pock-marked, motherless scum... I need a favor.
Aurelia: If you marry Cinna's daughter you will be identified with the popular party whether you wish or not.
Caesar: I wish it.
Aurelia: They are not our people.
Cousin: You wish to join with farmers and hagglers and beggars?
Caesar: Our family itself did not exactly drop straight out of Jupiter's ass.
Cornelius Flavius Silva: A victory? What have we won? We've won a rock in the middle of a wasteland, on the shores of a poisoned sea.
Attila the Hun: Trickery and deceit. That is the way of the Romans, not of the Huns.
Flavius Aetius: Yes, but which way rules the world?