Stan Podalak: Let me help! Let me help! I can help! I can help!
Michael Jordan: What can you do?
Stan Podalak: Well, I may not be very tall, but... I'm slow.
Sylvester: And large.
Daffy Duck: And a dork.
Happy Gilmore: I'm stupid. You're smart. I was wrong. You were right. You're the best. I'm the worst. You're very good-looking. I'm not attractive.
Romeo Posar: Now THAT was a defining moment. And the definition was "shit."
Russ: Hey, Biff. One more thing. After we beat you, the Warriors die and the Ducks fly.
Mitchell Kane: Are you happy with your deal with Sultan?
Johnny Winsor: Happy? I'd sooner be turked by a syphilitic bear.
Mitchell Kane: T-turked? Turked? What is turked?
Johnny Winsor: Rectally relieved.
Rod Tidwell: You are hanging on by a very thin thread and I dig that about you.
Jimmy Flaherty: Prison won't be so bad. I can became a born-again Christian. And that'll be good. Because nobody wants a born-again Christian as their bitch.
Edwina "Eddie" Franklin: (to a referee while honorary coach) Hey, you with the $1.99 rug on your head! Would you get out of my way, please?