Daphne Castle: Arlena and I were in the chorus of a show together, not that I could ever compete. Even in those days, she could always throw her legs up in the air higher than any of us... and wider.
Deputy Comissioner Lasorde: Read this most carefully and give me your opinion.
Insp. Jacques Clouseau: I will read my opinion and give you yours most carefully.
Sidney Bruhl: Every time I come in this bloody house, you scream.
Sex Shop Salesman: Le Orgy Gel comes in lemon, mint, cherry or trail mix.
Paul: Trail mix?
Sex Shop Salesman: I was making a joke.
Peter Stegman: I am the future.
Gary Mark Gilmore: Go down on me, partner... I need it.
Nicole Baker: Don't call me partner.
Gary Mark Gilmore: No, darlin'... I love it... I love it.
Nicole Baker: Yeah, you and seven other motherfuckers.
Secretary: Is Mr. Langford expecting you?
Rupert Pupkin: Yes, I don't think he is.
Biker Leader: Me and my boys chew up towns like this.
Sheriff Dan Stevens: Is that so?
Biker Leader: Oh yeah.
Sheriff Dan Stevens: Then that tells me something. You've never been through this town before.
Biker Leader: What makes you so damn sure of that?
Sheriff Dan Stevens: Because this little town would ruin those pretty white teeth of yours.