Mike: I know you're not going to believe this, but these things were here, right in the garage, and they were going to get me.
Jody: Aww, give me a break, would you?
Mike: They were jumping on the car and making these weird sounds.
Jody: You're sure it wasn't that retarded kid, Timmy, up the street?
Mike: No, it was the same thing that chased me last night.
Dr. Jack Seward: Count, some wine?
Count Dracula: No thank you, Doctor. I never drink wine.
Kathy Lutz: What's going on? Have you all gone mad? George.
Newspaper Editor-in-Chief: West, keep the British accent out of your prose. Don't take advantage of the fact that your uncle owns the paper.
Peter West: As if I would.
Maggie Verne: I believe him.
Dr. Robert Verne: Why?
Maggie Verne: Why would he have offered to let you test the water?
Dr. Robert Verne: Maybe it wasn't in the water.
Maggie Verne: Huh?
Dr. Robert Verne: Maybe it's heavier than water. That silvery stuff on your boot, is it dry?
Maggie Verne: Yes.
Dr. Robert Verne: They gave us a trick question in medical school. What's the only liquid in the world that isn't wet?
Maggie Verne: What was the answer?
Dr. Robert Verne: Mercury.
Ben Mears: You'll have to get some hawthorn.
Susan Norton: Okay.
Ben Mears: And put it all over the house.
Warden: The patient that came in yesterday is having a fit.
Van Helsing: Which one?
Warden: The one that bit the cow.