Cat: You won't make me cry. You'll never make me cry.
Wild, The Hunchback: Well well, if it isn't the smoker. Well... Remember me, amigo?
Col. Douglas Mortimer: M-Mm.
Wild, The Hunchback: 'Course you do. El Paso.
Col. Douglas Mortimer: It's a small world.
Wild, The Hunchback: Yes, and very, very bad. Now come on, you light another match.
Col. Douglas Mortimer: I generally smoke just after I eat. Why don't you come back in about ten minutes?
Wild, The Hunchback: Ten minutes you'll be smoking in hell. Get up!.
Tom Elder: Mr. Hastings, you know everybody around here: Can you tell us who is the dirty stinkin' lowdown rat that shot our pa?
Charlie Anderson: It's no easy job, Sam, to take care of a woman.
Lt. Sam: No, sir.
Charlie Anderson: They expect things they never ask for. And when they don't get them, they ask you why. Sometimes they don't ask... and just go ahead and punish you for not doing something you didn't know you were supposed to do in the first place.
Maj. Amos Dundee: I have only three commands. When I signal you to come, you come. When I signal you to charge, you charge. And when I signal you to run - you follow me and run like hell.
Col. Thaddeus Gearhart: If it's the last thing I do, I'll have that entire band transferred to Alaska.