Benjamin Dingle: What's your name?
Joe Carter: Carter.
Benjamin Dingle: Bill Carter?
Joe Carter: Joe Carter.
Benjamin Dingle: I used to know a fellow named Bill Carter.
Joe Carter: Wasn't me.
Benjamin Dingle: Don't you suppose I know that?
Joe Carter: What'd you ask for, then?
Benjamin Dingle: I guess I know what Bill Carter looked like.
Joe Carter: Not like me.
Benjamin Dingle: Oh, then, you know Bill Carter.
Joe Carter: No, I don't, but he sounds like a great guy.
Herbie Hawkins: Well, if I was gonna kill you, I wouldn't do a dumb thing like hitting you on the head. First of all, I don't like the fingerprint angle. Of course, I could always wear gloves. Press your hands against the pipe after you were dead and make you look like a suicide. Except it don't seem hardly likely that you'd beat yourself to death with a club. I'd murder you so it didn't look like murder.
The Trumpeter: Give a man money and watch him act funny.
Artie - Shooting Gallery Attendant: Hey gov', sir, try your luck on Mussolini, Hiro Hito, or Hitler. Hit 'em where their hearts ought to be and listen to the 'ollow sound.
Theo Kretschmar-Schuldorff: What is your first name, Miss Cannon?
'Johnny' Cannon: Angela.
Theo Kretschmar-Schuldorff: What a lovely name. It comes from Angel, doesn't it?
'Johnny' Cannon: I think it stinks. My friends call me Johnny.
Dr. John H. Watson: Yes. We told you, you were taking an awful risk.
Sherlock Holmes: Well, we had to have a confession and these egomaniacs are always so much more chatty when they feel they have the upper hand.
Daffy Duck: Yes, sir. Daffy Duck, personal representative of the biggest discovery since the Sweater Girl. He's colossal! Stupendous! One might even go so far as to say... he's mediocre. I give you that paragon of pep and personality, Sleepy Lagoon.
Bugs Bunny: Hey, look, folks! I'm ahead! I'm in the lead! I'm gonna win, yeah! Hooray for the rabbit! Hooray! Look at me go! Look at me go.
Sgt. Joe Gunn: You heard my offer. Water for guns.
Tarzan: Tarzan like jungle. Jungle people only fight to live. Civilized people live to fight.
Maleva: Are you the proprietor?
Vazec: I am. What do you beggars want?
Donald Martin: Why do ya keep asking me all these questions? You don't believe anything I tell you.
Major Tetley: There's truth in lies too, if you can get enough of them.
Sgt. McGee: What's the matter with you Twardofsky? Don't you like our early morning calisthenics?
Pvt. Twardofsky: Well, I didn't like 'em at first.
Sgt. McGee: Oh, you didn't like 'em at first. How do you like 'em now?
Pvt. Twardofsky: I'm still on first.