Carla: Everything here is by the book.
Kelly Collins: Thanks for the warning Carla, but I would really like to try and retain my individuality around here.
Ray Harris: It's only been three white geniuses ever: Da Vinci, Stallone in the first Rocky, and now you, Tony.
Toula Portokalos: Ma, Dad is so stubborn. What he says goes. "Ah, the man is the head of the house!"
Maria Portokalos: Let me tell you something, Toula. The man is the head, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants.
Eddie: This is football we're talking about here, which you call bananas and you're reluctant to play it. But you play baseball, the World Series. You've won every year, America's won every year in that. Well done America.
Randolph Grady: You know, I could help you study.
Starla Grady: Yeah and what's the catch?
Randolph Grady: No catch, you just gotta be nice to me for the rest of my life.
Starla Grady: Ha! I should have known you'd exploit this for emotional blackmail. That's just mean you... user.
Cheryl: And fuck you very much.
Shopper: What?
Cheryl: Thank you very much.
Chuck Cedar: He's gonna get 100 grand for that picture, it'll be all over the news in an hour.
Longfellow Deeds: Well, he deserves it with those James Bond moves he just pulled.
Chuck Cedar: No, he deserves to get his throat cut. Filthy spy.
Nadine: I read somewhere once that everything in life happens in threes. And that there are two kinds of people, the ones that think three's the charm and the ones that think in three strikes you're out.
Russell: Anne Frank. Anne Frank. The soldiers are gone. Come out and play.
Tim Sullivan: They? There is no they, we are they..
Suzette: Ever heard of Frank Zappa?
Harry: Sure. The Mothers of Invention.
Suzette: Wow. Very good Harry. Well, he named us. The Banger Sisters.
Harry: But you weren't really sisters.
Suzette: No.
Harry: Good 'cause I wouldn't have been comfortable if you were sisters.
Suzette: You're not comfortable now, Harry.
Mojo Jojo: Now, if you'll excuse me, I, Mojo Jojo, have a town to take over. I have a world to conquer. I have to seize control of an area and force its inhabitants to follow my way of thinking.
Mr. Burke: Shaun! I read your story. You used a lot of big words. Great! Good for you! It was a little long, so I didn't read the whole thing, but who cares 'cause I gave you an A.
Mrs. Mimi Jared: And what classes are you taking... Dick?
Dick: Ummm, gangbang 101, Freebase Tutorial, and Oral Sex Workshop.
Freddie: Barry! You fuckin' ponce! You think you can just smash my machines?
Barry Ryan: Freddy, you fuckin' ferret. I jus' did, didn' I?