Snowbell: You've got guts, kid! And you've got spunk! Not to mention moxy! You've got guts, spunk, and moxy.
Pistachio Disguisey: Am I not turtley enough for the turtle club. Turtle, turtle, turtle.
Kaylee: In order to get what we need, we are talking complete physical and psychoemotional breakdown, people! I want to see a broken man. I'm talking like, "Oh, I just threw a baseball through your window" broken. Snap him like a twig! Squeeze him like a bug! I want you to turn him into mincemeat! And I don't even know what mincemeat is! I want him to scream for his mommy! WAH! WAH! Mommy, mommy, mommy! Do you hear me, people? Do you read me? Cause I don't really think you understand!
Jason: I think they read you.
Kaylee: Fair enough.
Catherine: Suzon, I forgot one thing. I heard a strange sound. I looked through Augustine's keyhole, and I saw her standing at the mirror with something shiny. I thought nothing of it, but now I'm sure she was sharpening a knife.
Augustine: You liar! I was holding my mother-of-pearl comb and cleaning it.
Gaby: At 3:00 am?
Augustine: Combs never sleep.
Lorne Daniels: Nobody wants you, not even the Clippers.
Burt Holloway: You are the child of god's holy gift of life. You come from me. But you are not me. Your soul and your body are your own, and yours to do with as you wish.
Lee Holloway: [Smiles.] Thank you Daddy.
Ali G: Sorry I iz late, bu dere was a documentry on about monkeys.
Tracey Reynolds: Calvin, I think you should stick to basketball. You know why? You can't rap.
Roland Yates: So, what are our chances?
Gaylord Oaks: Oh, I'd say anywhere between... nil and zero.
Roland Yates: Why do you say that?
Gaylord Oaks: Oh well, I grant you he's got potential. He's pretty street-smart. Give me six months, he could probably fool his brother's own parents. But eight days? Come on, you gotta be kidding me. He'll probably get himself killed, and everyone who goes along with him.
Carla: Everything here is by the book.
Kelly Collins: Thanks for the warning Carla, but I would really like to try and retain my individuality around here.
Sister Assumpta: But make no mistake, the culprits will be fingered. I will finger the culprits.
Trailer Trash Thumb: A lot of kids were disappearing in the woods, all mysterious like. And people thought it might be... David Copperfield. In a stage show, he took a llama and put it in a box. He closed the box and spinned it around. He opened up the box. There's no llama! And you don't see that every day, there's a llama here, llama gone. Llama, no llama. Just chills you to the bones.
Pero: Please, your honor I'm here to confess. That man is innocent. Your honor I can no longer live with the guilt. It was me who was stealing that car, I confess. My brother Cosimo, Saint Cosimo as he's known on the streets, was only trying to stop me. And I told him, 'Cosimo, I need to steal this car, I'm a car thief, I steal cars... by myself.'.
Brozzie: I'd offer you a drink, but I don't want you to stay.
Catherine: Oh, eww, this arugal is so bitter! It'l like my algebra teacher on my bread.
Milan: One guy can't take two on, except in the movies.
Larry: Dude, did you piss your pants?
Bret: Come on, we got to go! We got to get out of here! They're coming.
Randy: Looks like the only thing going is you, dude.
Mr. Burke: Shaun! I read your story. You used a lot of big words. Great! Good for you! It was a little long, so I didn't read the whole thing, but who cares 'cause I gave you an A.
