Napoleon Bonaparte: I am Napoleon.
Nicole 'Pumpkin' Truchaut: No, you're not Napoleon! I hate Napoleon! He's filled France with widows and orphans! He took my husband! I won't let him take you.
Mikey Dundee: Do people like rats here?
Freddie Tiffany: If you wanna live, get in the car. If you wanna die, get in the car.
Kate Westbourne: I know a friend who lipoed her stomach once. A few months later, she looked like Jabba the Hutt.
Miriam: Who's Jabba the Hutt?
Addie Holden: It's a sea slug, Mummy, from outer space and it's not a complimant.
Maurice 'Momo': We were here in the 80's to watch the Russians. I can't tell you the trouble we made.
Hubert Fiorentini: That's right you can't, now try to keep your mouth shut for 5 minutes.
Ray: You're so easy to talk to, unlike my current cow.
Mrs. Berman: What do you think, Elwood? Do you like the new chair?
Ray Elwood: Can you sit on it, ma'am?
Mrs. Berman: No, of course you can't sit on it, it's an antique.
Ray Elwood: Oh, well, it's very nice.
Mama: That man looks like that Santa from years ago... no, can't be...No more eggnog for me.
Hipolito, The Writer: Without you, today's emotions would be the scurf of yesterday's.
Kelly: Are you crying?
Berke Landers: No, you're squeezing my puncture wound.
Margot: I think we're just gonna to have to be secretly in love with each other and leave it at that.
Count Thibault: You are more than a rose. You are love's own flower.
Tenley: You're thinking about kissing me, aren't you?
Ryan: No.
Tenley: Well, now that I've said that, you're thinking about it.
Ryan: No, I'm thinking that's what you're thinking.
Tenley: No, I'm thinking that I could swim the length and back underwater.
Ryan: Five bucks says you can't.
Tenley: You got it.
Helen: Some people smoke pot, some people bungee jump, some people chant. What do you do to be happy?
Jessica: Nothing. I'm not.
Miguel: The BLM man gave me permission to kill anything that represented a danger to my cattle. El lobo, el coyote, and el Graboid.
Jane Livingstone: Neutrality does not exist in the face of murder. Doing nothing to stop it is, in fact, choosing. It is not being neutral.
Meg Harper: You're having a panic attack, do you know what that means?
Joe: It sounds pretty self-explanatory.
Ricky Slade: You wanna bet me that I can't get a gun?
Bobby: You couldn't even get a handjob from the bridge and tunnel posse at the club last night.
Randy: There's the ten-thousand dollars... well, aren't you gonna count it?
Mr. Burmeister: Nah.
Randy: You trust me?
Mr. Burmeister: No, but I kill people.
Luisa: You have to make the clitoris your best friend.
Tenoch: What kind of friend is always hiding?