Phil Allen: A beauty is that, Shelley. A beauty.
[Afer Max punches a hole in a wall.]
Max Prince: I wanna hit something else. Something big! Something expensive!
Milt Fields: There's a bank across the street, Max.
Mrs. Berman: What do you think, Elwood? Do you like the new chair?
Ray Elwood: Can you sit on it, ma'am?
Mrs. Berman: No, of course you can't sit on it, it's an antique.
Ray Elwood: Oh, well, it's very nice.
Akash Malhotra: Dad, there is more to life than just signing checks.
Akash's father: Really... What is that?
Akash Malhotra: I don't know, but as soon as I do, you will be the first to know.
Lee: Gwen, your dog just swallowed your window washer.
Gwen: Puppy.
Lee: Puppy? It's a raptor.
Kiki: Time for Prozac. Excuse me.
Lee: She's on Prozac?
Kiki: If only. The dog.
Vincent: Of the days that I have lived, only those I spent with you seemed real.
Amy Mandell: The primary difference between a man and a woman is that man gets his self-esteem when a woman says yes and a women gets hers when she says no.
Dr. Dolittle: What are you guys, some kind of animal Mafia?
Raccoon: Mafia? Whoa, we don't know nothing about no Mafia. No, that's a myth.
Jet: Great, a wannabe preacher with a gun.
Steve Meyers: What do you think of a moral victory?
Anna Redmond: A moral victory sounds good.
Gord Brody: Wow... it's a Le Baron.
Jim: Bet your boots it's a Le Baron. Good car. Convertible.
Stu Miley: Back in the pack.
Mikey Dundee: Do people like rats here?
Fiona: It's Mr. Moviefone. He does all our subliminal tracks.
Napoleon Bonaparte: They've changed my battlefield.
Maurice 'Momo': We were here in the 80's to watch the Russians. I can't tell you the trouble we made.
Hubert Fiorentini: That's right you can't, now try to keep your mouth shut for 5 minutes.
Jade: I'm getting hives just from being around these ugly people.
Gavin: That's one good-lookin' lady.
Wesley Westbourne: Gavin, I may be mistaken, but I think she was very much alive at the start of World War II.
Mama: That man looks like that Santa from years ago... no, can't be...No more eggnog for me.
Daryl Chase: How you supposed to run a successful business, you ain't got no Schlitz Malt Liquor! You ain't representin'! You ain't keepin' it real.