Best TV quotes of all time

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Young Sheldon picture

Pilot - S1-E1

Georgie: Admit it, he's adopted.
Sheldon: How can I be adopted when I have a twin sister? Think, monkey, think.
Missy: I wish I was adopted.
Mary: That can still be arranged.

Cubs Fan

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Future Man picture

Haven Is for Real - S3-E5

[Watching a dreadful performance by James Dean.]
Josh: I gotta get some air.
Abraham Lincoln: I don't blame you. This is the worst theater experience I've ever had.

Jon Sandys

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Last Man Standing picture

Pilot - S1-E1

Mandy: Will you go pick up Travis, please?
Mike: You can pick him up.
Mandy: Really?
Mike: Yeah, if you can just figure out how to change a tire.
[Mandy starts to leave.]
Mike: So sad.
Mandy: I'm living with Lord Voldemort!
Mike: I don't know who that is, but he sounds like a very caring father.

Bowling255

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Halo Legends picture

1337: Well... I'm one heck of a mama myself.

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MacGyver picture

Friends - S2-E20

MacGyver: For the past seven years I have done nothing but travel around the world getting shot up, locked up, blown up...and all I have to show for it are a couple of empty rolls of duct tape.

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Lilo & Stitch: The Series picture

Lilo: Stitch! Are you okay?
Stitch: I'm okay. I'm fluffy.

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Foyle's War picture

DCS Christopher Foyle: The uniform suits you.
Andrew Foyle: Thanks. I wish I could say the same about your dressing gown.

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NCIS: Naval Criminal Investigative Service picture

Yankee White - S1-E1

Gibbs: I heard you quit, Agent Todd.
Kate Todd: Happy news travels fast. Yes, I resigned. It was the right thing to do.
Gibbs: Yep. Pull that crap at NCIS, I won't give you a chance to resign.
Kate Todd: Is that a job offer?

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Battlestar Galactica picture

Admiral Adama: So say we all.

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Desperate Housewives picture

Silly People - S2-E14

Carlos: You know who you are, Gaby? You're the kind of person who would have turned away Mary and Joseph from the inn.
Gabrielle: Well, they should have called ahead.

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Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends picture

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo: Got B.O.? Get DEO.

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Airwolf picture

Dominic Santini: Why can't we hover like regular helicopter people?

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Dharma & Greg picture

Greg: You wanna have children?
Dharma: Yeah, unless you wanna have 'em.

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Once Upon a Time picture

The Evil Queen - S2-E20

Cora: Love is weakness. It feels real now, at the start it always does, but it's an illusion. It fades and then you're left with nothing!

Francisco Guerra

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Dexter picture

Dexter: I am a father, a son, a serial killer.

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