Best TV quotes of all time

Archer: Lana. Lana. Lana? LAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAA!
Lana: WHAT?!
Archer: Danger zone.

Lamont Sanford: You know what they say, the truth will set you free.
Fred Sanford: Your uncle Edgar told the truth, and the judge gave him six months.

TV Kiddie Show Host: Sure, I remember that kid, he had on the most realistic looking pig costume I've ever seen. He won first prize.
Oliver Douglas: No, you don't understand, Arnold is a real PIG.
TV Kiddie Show Host: I'll say he is! We had five gallons of ice cream for those kids, and he ate every bit of it himself.

Mary Carroll: Look at Anthony's hair. He looks like a little choir boy.
Jim Royle: He looks like a little gay boy.

The Antique - S5-E12

Hogan: Would you want me to strip, Schultz? I may be carrying a Luger in my shorts!
Schultz: Jolly joker.

Movie Nut

The Hostile Hospital: Part One - S2-E7

Violet Baudelaire: Why do you hate us so much?
Count Olaf: Because it's fun.

Dr. Meredith Grey: At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we're made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines that are way too dangerous to cross.

Rob Petrie: I want to take a nap before I go to sleep.

The Most Wonderfullest Picnic in the Whole Wide World - S1-E12

Lola: Fun, fun, funny and sun, sun, sunny.
Lotta: Yum, yum, yummy in my tum, tum, tummy.

heartis

Columbo: Oh, I didn't come to ask any more questions. I came to arrest you.

Kunta Kinti: What's snow, Fiddler?
Fiddler: Never you mind, boy, never you mind. Let's get on back to home. I got enough trouble teaching you the difference between manure and massa. 'Course there ain't all that much difference when you gets right down to it.

Blink - S1-E1

Mac Taylor: You're not a doctor. You're a murderer with a medical degree.

Joe Hackett: This is the dumbest thing Brian's ever done, and he once painted me blue.

Hank Moody: You're so beautiful you're almost ugly.

Coach Toomey: Actually, Burdett never made the team.
Carl Kolchak: No?
Coach Toomey: You see, his butterfly stroke was like an effeminate moth.

Season 2 generally

Discord: 'What fun is there in making sense?"

Parade - S2-E4

Eddie: So, er, what did you do then?
Falklands War Vet: Well, I'd rather not talk about it.
Eddie: Why? Is it embarrassing? Shit your pants, did you? Cry, did you?
Falklands War Vet: Quite the opposite, actually.
Eddie: What, you sucked water in through your eyes?

Rev. Morgan Hamilton: We cannot fight hate with hate. What are we teaching our children today? That will make things better tomorrow?

The Fonz: You're dreaming about a girl you've never met?
Richie Cunningham: Come on, Fonz, haven't you ever dreamed?
The Fonz: Hey I'm not the dreamer! I'm the dreamee.

Pilot - S1-E1

Michael: They're going to keep Dad in jail until this whole thing gets sorted out. [Silence.] Also, I've been told that the company's expense accounts have been frozen. [Gasps.] Interesting. I would have expected that after "they're keeping Dad in jail."