Best TV quotes of 2003

Cyborg the Barbarian - S4-E5

Raven: Evil beware. We have waffles.

Yankee White - S1-E1

Gibbs: I heard you quit, Agent Todd.
Kate Todd: Happy news travels fast. Yes, I resigned. It was the right thing to do.
Gibbs: Yep. Pull that crap at NCIS, I won't give you a chance to resign.
Kate Todd: Is that a job offer?

Deputy Travis Junior: Getting two tickets to an execution is like getting two tickets to NASCAR, except you know Jeff Gordon's gonna die.

Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers - S2-E8

Berta: Well gadzooks! Zippy's got his freak on.
Charlie: Yeah he has.
Berta: Well if they can put a man on the moon they can put a woman on your brother. (00:03:04)

Ssiscool ★

Chapter 12 - S2-E2

Oro Dassyne: I wonder how many they'll send. We've got so much firepower in here, these walls are ray-shielded. They can't take this fort. It'll probably be, uh, fifty Jedi. They'll need at least that many. Huh, maybe a hundred Jedi! They'll never take this base with less. Ha, they'll need an army of Jedi!
Battle Droid: I have a visual.
Oro Dassyne: Jedi?
Battle Droid: I think so.
Oro Dassyne: How many? A thousand?
Battle Droid: No.
Oro Dassyne: Eighty?
Battle Droid: No, sir.
Oro Dassyne: What? Fifty?
Battle Droid: Less.
Oro Dassyne: Forty? Come on, how many?
Battle Droid: Two.
Oro Dassyne: What?! Give me those!

Admiral Adama: So say we all.

Lilo: Stitch! Are you okay?
Stitch: I'm okay. I'm fluffy.

Pilot - S1-E1

Michael: They're going to keep Dad in jail until this whole thing gets sorted out. [Silence.] Also, I've been told that the company's expense accounts have been frozen. [Gasps.] Interesting. I would have expected that after "they're keeping Dad in jail."

Male Receptionist: Oh, boy. Where to begin... where to begin? First of all, fatty, I'm not bowing down to anyone. Second of all, unless you're here for a supermodel audition you're not seeing anyone's master. Third of all, shoo.

Sonic the Hedgehog: I don't see why we have to learn all this etiquette baloney.
Christopher 'Chris' Thorndyke: My mom says it's important to learn good manners so we can eat properly.
Sonic the Hedgehog: Well, I never learned anything about manners, and I been eating my whole life.

Jamie: Aren't tracer rounds illegal?

Caleb Nichol: I've come to ask a favor.
Sandy: I'm sorry, what did you say?
Caleb Nichol: You didn't hear me?
Sandy: No, I heard you, I... I just want to make you say it again.

Tiger Woods: I always wanted to say this... fa-shizzle.

Bam Margera: Merry Christmas, ya little yerks.

Joan: I just want to be who I am and not who everyone else wants me to be.

Brock Samson: After the twist, you'll feel a snap and the body goes ragdoll on you.
Hank Venture: And that will knock him out... even more?
Brock Samson: That will kill him.
Hank Venture: Do I have to?
Brock Samson: Alright, fine crybaby. Tie him up and, I guess, gag him. But at the first sign of trouble I want you to at least break both his knees.

Kate Fox: Sometimes confronting the past is the only way to move on.

Bill Maher: New rule: the Oscars must become more like the Golden Globes. The Golden Globes is the woman you meet who's hot, tipsy, and fun. And the Oscars is her friend who grabs her and says "Come on, we're going home."

Helen: Loving me kills people, destroys families, causes such grief you cannot imagine.

Polly Nguyen: I say something about marriage, he flip out like time I put fist in bad place get stuck.