TV Kiddie Show Host: Sure, I remember that kid, he had on the most realistic looking pig costume I've ever seen. He won first prize.
Oliver Douglas: No, you don't understand, Arnold is a real PIG.
TV Kiddie Show Host: I'll say he is! We had five gallons of ice cream for those kids, and he ate every bit of it himself.
Steve: Laura, this is a... A really special moment and... Well, I think we should celebrate it by... Getting married.
Laura: No.
Steve: Engaged?
Laura: No.
Steve: Going steady?
Laura: No.
Steve: A date?
Laura: No.
Steve: A kiss?
Laura: No.
Steve: A handshake?
Laura: No.
Steve: I'll see ya tomorrow?
Laura: Yeah.
Steve Urkel: I'll take it.
Niles: You know, the next time you give your clothes away, why don't you just stay in them?
Damon Salvatore: I DO believe in killing the messenger. Why? Because it sends a message.
House of the Rising Sun - S1-E6
[While fleeing from an angry swarm, Kate takes her shirt off as insects are trapped in it. Charlie later finds her and hands her the shirt she dropped with a questioning look.]
Kate: It was full of bees.
Charlie: [Looking at her chest.] I'd say more like C's.
DSU Martin Schenk: I know men like you the way you know men like me, and I know you wouldn't have done this if you believed there was the least chance of it coming back on you. Well, guess what: it's come back on you like the Hand of God, and the next words from your mouth will determine the weight and velocity of the staggering tonnage of shit that's about to plummet onto your head.
Officer Gunther Toody: Ooh! Ooh.
The Doctor: You can't rule the world in hiding. You've got to come out on the balcony sometimes and wave a tentacle, if you pardon the expression.
Reverend Jim: a Space Odyssey - S2-E3
Jim: Can you guess how many drugs I did?
Elaine: A lot.
Jim: Wow! Right on the nose!
Cordelia: You want I should distract him? Make with the nice-nice while you slip by?
Angel: Don't be stupid. I'm that guy and the most beautiful woman I've ever seen is making eyes at me? It's either a bachelor party or a scam.
Cordelia: What did you just call me?
Angel: I'm sorry. You're not stupid.
Cordelia: No, after that.