Best comedy movie quotes of 2005

Meredith Morton: I hope I'm not putting anyone out.
Amy Stone: Me. You're putting, me out.

Al Giordino: Hi! How are ya?

Bailey: I want you to do something for me.
Tibby: What?
Bailey: Finish your movie.
Tibby: Why?
Bailey: Because you can.

Nanny McPhee: How's the reading coming along?
Evangeline: Oh... all right. I still haven't gotten to the end of the story, though.
Nanny McPhee: There's no need. You are the end of the story.

Stewie Griffin: Look, I really don't want to go to hell, but I can't stop my nature. I'm just a hateful person.
Brian Griffin: You're not hateful you just need to control your anger. Like I do.
Stewie Griffin: Oh, you mean by being sauced all day! Wait a minute! Of Course! That's it! If I'm drunk I'll be calm and if I'm calm I'll be nice, and if I'm nice then I won't go to hell. Fix me a highball I'm going to get good and tight.

Maggie Peyton: What's really your problem with me racing?
Ray Peyton Sr.: 'Cause you're the spittin' image of your mom... and... I can't lose her twice.

Mr. Woolensworth: Class, turn to page 62 and translate each word in mutton. He.
Students: Baa.
Mr. Woolensworth: She.
Students: Baa.
Mr. Woolensworth: They.
Students: Baa.
Mr. Woolensworth: We.
Students: Baa.

Sarah: If you're gonna marry someone you might as well marry your best friend.

Dave Spritz: People don't throw things at me any more. Maybe because I carry a bow around.

Walt: Oh my god, he is deranged!

Daisy Duke: They planted a still on our farm.
Pauline: They planted a still? Why would they have to plant a still?
Daisy Duke: 'Cause they're too damn dumb to find our real still.

Harry: Still gay?
Gay Perry: Me? No, I'm knee-deep in pussy. I just like the name so much I can't get rid of it.

Slartibartfast: You must come with me, quickly or, or you'll be late!
Arthur: Late for what?
Slartibartfast: What? Oh, no...What is your name, earthman?
Arthur: Dent. Arthur Dent.
Slartibartfast: Late, as in the late Dentarthurdent. It's a kind of threat, you see.

David Bloomberg: I'm 23.
Rafi Gardet: No, you're not. I don't believe you. Let me see the license... Oh, my God! You're a child. Taxi! I have T-shirts older than you.

Stitch: Stitch not bad. Stitch fluffy.

Morris Buttermaker: Is that a baggy full of bacon?
Mike Engelberg: I'm on Atkins.

Emily Barnes: If there's anything that I know, it's that love is infinite. You can always make more when you need it. And just because you wanna give some to somebody else, doesn't mean that you'll take any away from me.

Servant Girl: My Lady says the pig must stay outside, but the animal, we'll take.

Fender : Welcome to Robot City. If you can make it there, you can make it anywhere. And if you can't make it there, welcome to the club.

Hooker (Janet Moran): Oi. You doing business, do it somewhere else, love. This pavement's got my name on it.
Patrick "Kitten" Braden: And what, pray, is your name? Concrete?
Hooker (Janet Moran): My name is scratch your eyes out, and bite your bleed'n nose off. Which is what I'll do if you don't get off my patch.
Mr. Silky String: She giving you trouble, sir?
Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Oh, no trouble at all. We were just exchanging names.