Rupert Pupkin: I know, Jerry, that you are as human as the rest of us, if not more so.
Rupert Pupkin: The more scribbled the name, the bigger the fame.
Langford's Lawyer: What is the defense of kidnapping? How can you say, "I was crazy at the time"?
Rupert Pupkin: I'm gonna work 50 times harder, and I'm gonna be 50 times more famous than you.
Jerry Langford: Then you're gonna have idiots like you plaguing your life.
Rupert Pupkin: Why not me? Why not? A guy can get anything he wants as long as he pays the price. What's wrong with that? Stranger things have happened.
Rupert Pupkin: Better to be king for a night than schmuck for a lifetime.
Rupert Pupkin: Well I'm sorry. I made a mistake.
Jerry Langford: So did Hitler.
Secretary: Is Mr. Langford expecting you?
Rupert Pupkin: Yes, I don't think he is.
