Jim Rockford: Hey, I'm sorry Dad, you just caught me at a bad time. Reading that detective fiction doesn't help. I mean things aren't like that you know? They're not black and white. They're aren't any heroes left, they die young. (pointing to a book cover) His gun is deadly? Mine's in a cookie jar.
Night of a Thousand Stars - S2-E11
Korra: You have a battleship?
Varrick: Of course I do! I bought the first one they made! Named her the Zhu Li.
Bolin: You named your battleship after your assistant?
Varrick: Yep! They're both cold, heartless war machines.
Ed Norton: Well, if I was asked to describe your build, I'd say you have, uh, very well developed muscles, uh, a good bone structure, very good bone structure, fine frame... and the whole thing is covered with fat.
Nick Miller: You're a freaking gold digger, Jess.
Jess: Do you think that if I were a gold digger, I'd be interested in you? I would be the worst gold digger in the world.
Eddie: I DON'T WANT MORE CHOICE, I JUST WANT NICER THINGS!
Detective Ron Harris: So What do you do for fun? Watch TV?
Amish Farmer: It's not in the bible.
Detective Ron Harris: Movies?
Amish Farmer: Not in the Bible.
Detective Ron Harris: Play cards? Gamble?
Amish Farmer: It's not in the Bible.
Detective Ron Harris: What DO you DO for fun?
Amish Farmer: Got 14 kids. THAT'S in the Bible.
The Cat Who Cried Wolf - S1-E7
Detective Gordon Katsumoto: Why are you following me?
Thomas Magnum: Uh...
Detective Gordon Katsumoto: Word of advice: if you wanna tail someone, don't do it in a red Ferrari. (00:30:00)
The Sofa-Bed - S1-E1
Jackie: And Martin! How many times do I have to tell you? Stop eating out of the bin!
Johnny: Classic.
Adam: Classic.
Michael: You humans take something wonderful and ruin it just a little bit so you can have more.
The Tragedy at Marsdon Manor - S3-E6
Samuel Naughton: Was the accomodation all right?
Hercule Poirot: No, monsieur Naughton. The accomodation was all wrong.
Samuel Naughton: Oh...
Hercule Poirot: The duck-feather pillows. It feels as if the duck are still in them. (00:14:50)
Earthanasia AKA The End of the World Show - S7-E6
Bill: Christmases come, Christmases go. They're all the ruddy same - no one ever remembers them.
The Fonz: You're dreaming about a girl you've never met?
Richie Cunningham: Come on, Fonz, haven't you ever dreamed?
The Fonz: Hey I'm not the dreamer! I'm the dreamee.
Hank Moody: You're so beautiful you're almost ugly.
Chapter 12 - S2-E2
Oro Dassyne: I wonder how many they'll send. We've got so much firepower in here, these walls are ray-shielded. They can't take this fort. It'll probably be, uh, fifty Jedi. They'll need at least that many. Huh, maybe a hundred Jedi! They'll never take this base with less. Ha, they'll need an army of Jedi!
Battle Droid: I have a visual.
Oro Dassyne: Jedi?
Battle Droid: I think so.
Oro Dassyne: How many? A thousand?
Battle Droid: No.
Oro Dassyne: Eighty?
Battle Droid: No, sir.
Oro Dassyne: What? Fifty?
Battle Droid: Less.
Oro Dassyne: Forty? Come on, how many?
Battle Droid: Two.
Oro Dassyne: What?! Give me those!
Mickey 'Bricks' Stone: Albert, what the hell were you doing in a church today?
Albert Stroller: Gil Stewart died this afternoon. I was there at the end.
Mickey 'Bricks' Stone: Oh God, I'm so sorry Albert. You two were like brothers.
Albert Stroller: We worked Vegas together. That man was made for bright lights. Poor bastard - died of a stroke in a dental surgery.
Mickey 'Bricks' Stone: Well, someone should sue them.
Albert Stroller: Aye, he was pretending to be the dentist.
Mac Taylor: You're not a doctor. You're a murderer with a medical degree.