Steve-O: How many stings do you think we can take?
Manny Puig: I think it takes about 100 to kill a man.
Dave England: Are you serious? Did you just make that number up? There's 50,000 bees and it takes 100 to kill a man?
Manny Puig: I think it takes 100.
Loomis Fall: Then what are we doing here?
Manny Puig: Making a hit movie.
Bam Margera: I changed my mind. Stun guns are the number one most thing that I hate now. Bulls are second. Snakes are third. That sucked.
Jeff Tremaine: What's your role, Jared?
Jared Allen: Murder KNOXVILLE'S face.
Jeff Tremaine: And what's your role, Johnny?
Johnny Knoxville: ...Catch the ball?
Johnny Knoxville: Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville, Welcome to Jackass.
Phil Margera: I had to take a mean shit.
Bam Margera: There's a gorilla.
Phil Margera: I know. I had to take a mean shit. It was coming out. Hear it? It's all juicy. I had to do it.
Bam Margera: Phil, you are mingin'.
Phil Margera: I know. I had to.
Johnny Knoxville: Hey Jared, try not to hit me with your purse this time.
Jared Allen: Nice wristbands, douche.
Johnny Knoxville: Due to prison overpopulation, we're gonna give these boys a chance to escape. This side represents incarceration, that side freedom. This is Electric Avenue. Each of these stun guns has 950,000 volts. There's 15 of them hanging here plus four cattle prods. Good luck fellas.
Bam Margera: Get in the Lambo, shitbird.
Ryan Dunn: That felt like it was blowing a fire ball in my face.
Johnny Knoxville: That looked like you were just getting the hell beat out of you.
Bam Margera: Is Knoxville going to catch the ball?
Ryan Dunn: Who gives a shit?
Johnny Knoxville: I'm Johnny Knoxville and this is Roller Buffalo.
Johnny Knoxville: I think that's it for super mighty glue.
Spike Jonze: Thank god none of us have that foreskin we're talking about.
Johnny Knoxville: Does anyone have foreskin?
Ryan Dunn: Speak up! Now's the time.
Johnny Knoxville: I realised that after all that flying I do, Santa's really afraid of heights.
Phil Margera: I had to take a mean shit.
