Gru: Do you speak Spanish?
Miss Hattie: Do I look like someone who speaks Spanish?
Gru: It's just that your face is so... Como es burro.
Miss Hattie: Oh! Why, thank you!
Maggie McGlone: If my muscles hurt, it just means I've used them. If it hurts to walk up the stairs, it's just cause I've done it a hundred times to lay down next to a man who loved me. My face may have wrinkles, but I have laid under hundreds of skies on sunny days. I look like this, well, because I drank and I smoked and I lived and I loved and I screwed my way through a pretty damn good life. Getting old isn't bad. It's earned.
Nick Fury: I know a renegade soldier when I see one. Never occurred to me that one might come from above.
Second brother: And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade that with it thou mayest blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and large chu...
Maynard: Skip a bit, Brother.
Second brother: And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.'
Maynard: Amen.
Knights: Amen.
King Arthur: Right! One... Two... Five!
Sir Galahad: Three, sir!
King Arthur: Three!
Capt. Jack Aubrey: This is the second time he's done this to me. There will not be a third.
Paul Serone: They strike, wrap around you. Hold you tighter than your true love. And you get the privilege, of hearing your bones break before the power of embrace causes your veins to explode.
Helen: You've been there, haven't you? Dryland? You know where it is.
Mariner: Yeah, I know where it is.
Helen: And uh, and we're going?
Mariner: You and I are. The kid we gotta pitch over the side.
Helen: What?
Mariner: My boat's tore up. I'm taking on water. [Points to filtration system.] I'd be lucky to get half a hydro ration out of that.
Helen: You know, I said I won't drink.
Mariner: For twelve days? [Helen nods.] No. It's better that one of you dies now, than both of you die slow.
Helen: Wait. Wait. We saved your life. We got you out.
Mariner: No. You got me out so you could get out. We're even.
Maurice: Hey, dude. Come here bud. You don't know it yet, but tonight is your lucky night.
Brian Stevenson: What do you mean?
Maurice: I mean.
Brian Stevenson: I know, you're going to grant me three wishes, right?
Maurice: Wishes? Wishes? Wishes are bush-league leprechaun, pal. I'm a monster, okay. Listen to this. I'm a monster and monsters don't do wishes.
Brian Stevenson: Then what do monsters do?
Maurice: Good question. I have the time of my life.
Ranger Capt. Jake Cutter: Let him make a run for it, I'd say to myself.
Paul Regret: And then what would you say?
Ranger Capt. Jake Cutter: And then I'd say back to myself, you can't let him run. You swore an oath whent they put that badge on you.
Paul Regret: And that's important to you?
Ranger Capt. Jake Cutter: I said I swore an oath.
Paul Regret: Words.
Ranger Capt. Jake Cutter: Mon-sewer, words are what men live by... words they say and mean.
Thor: Look what I found in the purse.
Lucas: What is it?
Thor: I have no idea.
Max: That's a tampon. Girls shove it up their buttholes to stop babies from coming out. An eighth grader told me that.
Jensen: Did you know that cats can make one thousand different sounds and dogs can only make ten? Cats, man. Not to be trusted.
Magneto: Are you a God-fearing man, Senator? It's such a strange phrase. I always thought of God as a teacher. As a bringer of light, wisdom and understanding. You see, I think what you really are afraid of is me. Me and my kind. The Brotherhood of Mutants.
[Dr. Terminus has just learned of Elliot's existence.]
Dr. Terminus: Do you think this kid Pete would sell it?
Hoagy: Money talks.
Dr. Terminus: First there's a dragon. Now he tells me money talks. Will miracles never cease?
Cedric the Bellman: You know, Herbert Hoover once stayed here on this floor.
Kevin McCallister: The vacuum guy?
Cedric the Bellman: No, the President.
The Lord of Darkness: You think you have won! What is light without dark? What are you without me? I am a part of you all. You can never defeat me. We are brothers eternal.
Lucas Weller: Mom, why would they scare us like that?
Rachel Weller: Because it's easier to build fear than build a wall. (01:20:05)
Emperor: The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all.
Shang: Sir?
Emperor: You don't meet a girl like that every dynasty.