Quotes from Jerry Seinfeld movies and TV shows

Barry B. Benson: Ya like jazz?

Adam Flayman: Wow! She looked hot.
Barry B. Benson: She's my cousin.
Adam Flayman: She is?
Barry B. Benson: Yes, we're all cousins.

Barry B. Benson: This sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants.

Barry B. Benson: Larry, bees have never afraid to change the world. I mean, what about Bee Columbus, Bee Ghandi, Bee-Jesus?

Vanessa: My only interest is flowers.
Barry B. Benson: You know, our last queen was elected with that very slogan.

Barry B. Benson: Three days of grade school, three days of high school.
Adam Flayman: Those were tough days.
Barry B. Benson: ...three days of college, I'm glad I took a day off in the middle to hitchhike around the hive.
Adam Flayman: You did come back different.

Barry B. Benson: Tivo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane.
Vanessa: What, you don't have anything like that?
Barry B. Benson: We have "Hivo", But it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease.

Barry B. Benson: He's no goodfella, He's a BADfella.

Barry B. Benson: How about a suicide pact?
Vanessa: How do we do it?
Barry B. Benson: I'll sting you, you step on me.
Vanessa: That just kills you twice.

Adam Flayman: What do you thing the humans will do to us if we lose?
Barry B. Benson: I don't know, Adam.
Adam Flayman: I hear they put roaches in motels.
Barry B. Benson: Adam, they check in, but they never check out.

Vanessa: What happened here?
Barry B. Benson: I tried talking to these guys, and then there was a dustbuster, a toupee and a liferaft exploded... now one's bald, one's in a boat, and they're both unconscious.
Vanessa: Is that another bee joke?

Layton T. Montgomery: Mr. Benson Bee, I'm going to ask what I think the entire court here would like to know... what exactly is your relationship to that woman?
Barry B. Benson: We're friends.
Layton T. Montgomery: Good friends?
Barry B. Benson: Yes.
Layton T. Montgomery: How good?
Barry B. Benson: Now, hang on.
Layton T. Montgomery: Do you live together?
Barry B. Benson: Wait, that's not.
Layton T. Montgomery: Are you her little... bedbug?

Vanessa: Why don't you just fly everywhere? Isn't it faster?
Barry B. Benson: Flying is exhausting. Why don't you humans just run everywhere, isn't that faster?
Vanessa: I see your point.

Barry B. Benson: I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it.

Barry B. Benson: Sorry I'm late, where should I sit?
Rose Parade Princess: Who are you?
Barry B. Benson: I believe I'm the pea.
Rose Parade Princess: The pea is supposed to be under the mattresses.
Barry B. Benson: Not in this fairy tale sweetheart.

Adam Flayman: Did you hear about Frankie?
Barry B. Benson: Yeah.
Adam Flayman: Are you going to his funeral?
Barry B. Benson: No, I'm not going to his funeral. Everyone knows you sting someone, you die. You don't waste it on a squirrel. He was such a hothead.
Adam Flayman: I guess he could have just gotten out of the way.

Barry B. Benson: We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as nothing more than a vicious, smelly, ill-tempered, big-headed stink machine. I believe we all know what they do in the woods.

Barry B. Benson: What is that?
Ken: Italian Vogue.
Barry B. Benson: Mamma mia! That's a lot of pages.
Ken: It's a lot of ads.

Barry B. Benson: This is your queen? That's a guy in women's clothes! That's a drag queen.

The Wink - S7-E4

Elaine: So you're saying that 95% of the population is undateable?
Jerry: UNDATEABLE!
Elaine: Then how are all these people getting together?
Jerry: Alcohol.