Charlie: So, you're going to dinner with both of them? The girl you like and the girl you slept with?
Oscar: Yeah, my dad's coming too.
N.Y. Flight Attendant: Can I help you?
Young Ryan: I don't know. Can you?
N.Y. Flight Attendant: MAY I help you?
Florence "Chicklet" Forrest: I've never been to an orgy before. What do I wear?
Bennett: I once heard someone say: "When you dim your light, so that someone else can shine, the whole world gets darker."
Nancy Grover: Zoe, have you ever changed a baby's diaper?
Zoe: Does a doll count?
Nancy Grover: Let's start you off with a girl.
Jamie Grover: Boys tend to pee on you.
Zoe: Um, ew.
Imogen: A little soul is necessary in life.
Banner in the back of Stanley's van: I'm the guy your mother warned you about.
Kate: I like being depressed. It makes me feel deep and introspective.
Ray: I think she's developing a crush on her teacher, David.
May Sloane: Yeah. Well, you know, he's very good-looking, and he's really bright and very charming. And he's very elegant.
Ray: Okay, May, I got the picture. It's all right.
May Sloane: Well, when you're right, you're right.
Ray: Thank you.
Dot: The guys paid a dollars apiece to find out if you're single.
Lydia Callahan: Tell the guys I have five husbands, each one rich, mean and jealous. I'll be rotatin' them through on a weekly basis.
Dot: That line will be all over the valley by breakfast.
Lydia Callahan: Oh, just tell 'em I own a rifle.
Melanie McGowan: Other houses have M&Ms, we stock up with Smarties. It's like living at the duty-free-shop at Heathrow.
Lily, Burnetts Grand Daughter: You're a Really Useful Engine, Thomas.
Monica Jones: Melons are like boyfriends. Shall I tell you why? To get a single good one you must one hundred try.
Noah: There you are again with those books! What is that?
Paul Tannek: Studying?
Ben: Are you gay, or are you just acting gay?
Robert: Well, that depends, are you interested are are you just acting interested?
Bree Davis: You see women all day, every day. How do they keep from just runnin' together?
Dr. Sullivan "Sully" Travis, "Dr. T": I think every single woman I've ever met has got somethin' special about her, somethin' that sets her apart from the rest.
Bree Davis: Well, if a gynecologist says there's no two alike, I guess there's no two alike.
Beret Girl: Max, Max, Max. Admit defeat, and defeat will surely admit you into permanent custody, my man.
Ryan: I like that you look nervous sometimes for no reason. And when you do, you bite your lip. I like that you probably... rifled through your closet tonight... and settled with what you started out with. I like your smile.
Sheila: Well Mr. Phipps, you are in perilous danger of turning me back into a heterosexual.