Best comedy movie quotes of 1995

Paul Benjamin: Slow down, huh?
Auggie Wren: That's what I recommend. You know how it is. Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow. Time creeps in its petty pace.

Dr. Frankenollie: Dr. Frankenollie at your service. You're here for the job, hmm?
Mickey Mouse: Yeah. I mean, no! No.
Dr. Frankenollie: Oh, don't be shy. It's not just a job. It's an adventure.
Mickey Mouse: I hate adventures.
Dr. Frankenollie: Perfect! You're hired.

Elspeth: If she doesn't have his goop in ten minutes, I'm going to go in there and get it myself.
Jezebel: That would be a first for you.

Arthur Hoggett: That'll do pig, that'll do.

Leo: Par, par, bogey, bogey, par, par.

Tom Sawyer: Muff's innocent Huck, we gotta help him.
Huck Finn: We ain't gotta do nothing.
Tom Sawyer: You'd let him hang for something he didn't do.
Huck Finn: It ain't no skin off my back.

T.S. Quint: You should see yourself right now - a grown man with his hand down his pants.
Brodie: Yeah, I probably look like my old man.

Calvin Fuller: Look, Your Majesty, I don't want to insult you or anything, but are you nuts? This isn't the castle. This is the real, in-your-face, carjacking, drive-by-shooting, kill-you-for-your-Reeboks street life.

Ah Keung: Don't let the situation change you. Change it.

Band Manager: The fuckin' monkeys?

Art Dodge: For me there is only Rimbaud.
Liz Kerner: Rimbaud? Why?
Betty Kerner: Well, it's obvious. He's the original. I mean, Seagal and Van Damme are just cheap imitations.

Junior Healy: I'm getting out.
Ben Healy: You can't just get out of a moving vehicle.
Junior Healy: Well anything's better than listening to this lecture.

Midge Callaghan: These potatoes are so creamy. Mary mashed them.

Luke: It's 1909 and you're alone with a young artist named Adolph. Do you kill him?

Johnny Shellshocked: In France, we dug trenches ten miles long. We took earth from here and made hills there. We moved entire fields. You wouldn't believe what we did. It's possible. It's just hard work.

Matt: Can't you just relax and enjoy the moment?
Gwyn: No, I'm a middle child. I always think the really good moments are happening to someone else.

Suzanne Stone Maretto: You aren't really anybody in America if you're not on TV.

Darius: Just think of aids as the guest that won't leave, the one we all hate. But you have to remember: Hey! It's still our party.

Chad: What did you call me?
Nick: You heard me. I called you a "Hostess Twinkie motherfucker," motherfucker.

Donald Patterson: Did I say that? I didn't say that! All I said was... bad things tend to happen around you two. Some money got lost and I think you two can help me find it.
Charlie: How so?
Donald Patterson: You look for it.