Mort: I don't care. I'm just gonna smoke. I'm just gonna totally smoke. I'll finish these, go to the store and get a brand-new pack, smoke the shit out of that one.
Bill: He thr-thr-thr-thrusts his fi-fi-fists ag-ag-against the pos-posts and...
Ben: He thrusts his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts. That's all it says over and over.
Bill: Th-th-thats w-w-what m-m-my m-m-mom g-gave me t-to h-help with my st-st-stutter.
Richie: I hate to tell you buddy, it ain't working.
Ramirez: You're never going to get these people to see themselves as they really are, 'cause it's the lies that we tell ourselves, they introduce us to him.
Grace: Stroke a man's dick, you get him for one night. Stroke a man's ego, you get him for life.
Mark McPherson: I suspect nobody and everybody. I am strictly trying to get at the truth.
Joe Dirt: So, you're gonna tell me, that you don't have no black cats, no Roman candles, or screamin' mimis?
Kicking Wing: No.
Joe Dirt: Oh come on man. You don't got no lady fingers, buzz bottles, snicker bombs, church burners, finger blasters, gut busters, zip-a-dee-do-dahs, crap flappers?
Kicking Wing: No, I don't.
Joe Dirt: You're gonna stand there, owning a firework stand, and tell me you don't have no whistling bungholes, no spleen splitters, whisker biscuits, honker lighters, huskers dus, husker don'ts, cherry bombs, nipsy dazers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whisking kitty chaser?
Coach Willis: You're not much into sports.
Casey: I don't think that a person should run unless he's being chased.
Coach Willis: "Being chased." I like that.
Cynthia Hawkins: Do you steal the dresses of all singers?
Jules: No, no.
Cynthia Hawkins: So, I'M the lucky one! I have a fan?
Jules: I heard you in Bordeaux. And last year I went to Munich specially for the concert.
Cynthia Hawkins: You made the trip for me?
Jules: Yes, on the moped.
Cynthia Hawkins: On the moped. So, you ARE a real fan.
Arnie Cunningham: Okay... show me.
Hercule Poirot: I have lived long enough to know what I like. What I dislike, I cannot abide.
Captain James T. Kirk: Spock, you want to know something? Everybody's human.
Captain Spock: I find that remark... Insulting.
Hodge Starkweather: Everything you've heard... About monsters, about nightmares, legends whispered around campfires. All the stories are true.
Allison: I should have my head examined again.
Mamie Johnson: There's some kind of fiddle-faddle goin' around here.
Edward Newgate: You're mad!
Silas Lamb: We're all mad Dr. Newgate. Some are simply not mad enough to admit it.