Wyatt: By the way, why are we wearing bras on our heads?
Gary: It's ceremonial.
[Later, after Wyatt talks to Chet, Wyatt begins to leave the kitchen and Chet sees him wearing women's underwear.]
Chet: Like your panties.
Wyatt: [walking back into kitchen] It's a joke, Chet. Really.
Chet: No. That is not a joke. That is a severe behavioral disorder. Next thing you know you'll be wearing a bra on your head.
Narrator: Now if there's one thing you can be sure of, it's that nothing is more powerful than a young boy's wish. Except an Apache helicopter. An Apache helicopter has machine guns AND missiles. It is an unbelievably impressive complement of weaponry, an absolute death machine.
Chad Danforth: You got game?
Ryan Evans: A little.
Frank Moses: Kordeski trained you?
William Cooper: Yeah?
Frank Moses: I trained Kordeski.
Crawl: Let's just get the rules straight here. There'll be absolutely no partying in this hall between the hours of 5 and 6 in the morning, without my express written permission. OK cool. Carry on.
Harry Hart: Manners maketh man. Do you know what that means? Then let me teach you a lesson.
Female Fan: Hey driver, drive these! [Lifts shirt.]
Ricky Bobby: Oh God, please be 18.
Mexican girl: Which one do you like?
Carmen: I like the one that's not so smart.
Mexican girl: Which one is that?
[Columbus sprays Tallahassee with perfume.]
Tallahassee: It's ok. But FYI, I beat wholesale ass for a lot less than that.
Coach Finstock: There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese.
Puss in Boots: Fear me, if you dare!
Debbie: Isn't he a lady killer?
Gomez Addams: Acquitted.
Patch Adams: You treat a disease, you win, you lose. You treat a person, I guarantee you, you'll win, no matter what the outcome.
Bernard: Curtis, you're 900 years old. Grow up.
Hans: As Gandhi said...'An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind'. I believe that whole heartedly.
Bill: No it doesn't. There'll be one guy left with one eye. How's the last blind guy going to take out the eye of the last guy left whose still got one eye left? All that guy has to do is run away and hide behind a bush. Ghandi was wrong. It's just that nobody's got the balls to come out and say it.
Mullins: That cat took one look at your shitty shitty life, and said nooooo fucking thanks.
Vic Frohmeyer: Nora Krank, we're here for Frosty.
Carla: Since when did every woman in America need completely hairless vaginas on Christmas?
Jerry: You bit off more then you can chew.
Ed: It's too late, man. I told people what you are. You've been made.
Jerry: And you think anyone's actually going to believe you?
Ed: No, No. Don't play that crap. Don't play that mind shit with me. I'm serious. Try me.
Jerry: Okay. You said you're glad you're different.
Ed: Get back!
Jerry: How can you be in a place like this? These people. Even your best friend did nothing to help.
Ed: No.
Jerry: You were born for this and you know it. It's a gift.
[Jerry bites Ed.]
Margaret Tate: If you touch my ass one more time I will cut your balls off in your sleep, okay?