Archer
Movie Quote Quiz

Mole Hunt - S1-E1

Krenshaw: Jesus, Archer.
Archer: What?
Krenshaw: You think this is a game?
Archer: No, I think Jenga's a game.
Krenshaw: What if I had been real KGB?
Archer: I'd assume you'd be trying to suck a promotion out of some Russian guy's cock.

Archer: Lana. Lana. Lana? LAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAA!
Lana: WHAT?!
Archer: Danger zone.

The Papal Chase - S4-E11

Lana: Do you need to get that?
Malory: No. I'm sure whoever it is...
Cheryl: It's the Vatican. Line one. Jesus! [Cheryl gasps.] Shit. I hope he didn't hear that. [Cheryl gasps again.] Or that. Shit.
Malory: Just put him through, you idiot.
Cheryl: Okay! Jesus! [Cheryl gasps.] Shit.

Malory Archer: An erection?! The thought of me dead gives you an erection!?
Sterling Archer: No! Just half a one, the other half would have really missed you. I mean, not.

Bishop73

Archer Vice: Baby Shower - S5-E6

Ray: No, we have to play games at the baby shower. There's Don't Drop the Baby, uh, Dirty Diaper Game.
Cyril: What in God's name is the Dirty Diaper Game?
Ray: Oh, my God, it's hilarious. You get a bunch of newborn diapers, then you microwave different candy bars...
Cyril: Stop! Yeah, let me stop you there because, if you finish that sentence, I'm going to rub cocaine in your eyes until you are blind.
Ray: Goddamn, Shawshank.

Bishop73

Trinette: What the shit!?
Archer: I know, I'm not normally a tattoo guy, but-
Trinette: Not yours, shitbrains! His!
Archer: Yeah, it's like we got each other's backs, right?
Trinette: You can't tattoo a frickin' baby!
Archer: That's what the tattoo guy said. Had to slip him an extra hundred bucks.
Trinette: How about I slip somebody a hundred bucks to throw acid in your face!?
Archer: Cost more than that I bet to buy acid, Trinette.

Archer: Mother! What is in his ass?!
Malory: Oh, please. Don't act like you've never seen a "marital aid" before.
Archer: Not in a dead prime minister's ass!
Malory: And you can stop repeating that! We've established where it is!

Lana: Well, go ahead and say it.
Archer: What?
Lana: That since we are going to die tomorrow, we should have sex.
Archer: Are you kidding? After seeing a tiger get murdered? Lana, I'm not in the mood! I mean, if you want to, I can watch while you masturbate, but just so you know, my heart's not going to be into it. It's going to be with that tiger's family. But, you know, go ahead and start.

Pam: What a hunk
Cheryl: Total sploosh.
Lana: Yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
Ray: And whatever my equivalent of sploosh is. Which I guess is just sploosh. Only with semen.

Archer: I have to go. But if I find one single dog hair when I get back, I'll rub sand in your dead little eyes.
Woodhouse: Very good, sir.
Archer: I also need you to buy sand.
Woodhouse: Yes, sir.
Archer: I don't know if they grade it, but... Coarse.

Archer: Oh my God, you killed a hooker!
Cyril: Call girl! She was a call girl!
Archer: No, Cyril, when they’re dead, they’re just hookers!

Coyote Lovely - S4-E8

Continuity mistake: When Moreno is trying to get the border patrol cops to call for a helicopter, we see one has his arms around the other's neck, but in the next shot, his arms are around the other's waist.

Bishop73

More mistakes in Archer

Lo Scandalo - S3-E8

Question: How did Krieger manage to dispose of Savio's body and how did he even manage to get the entire bathroom cleaned up with so much blood in the room so quickly? With how much blood there was, it should have taken a long time to clean up.

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