Monster-in-Law (2005)

Ruby: I am sick. I am sick, sick, sick of your shit.And when I'm not sick, I'm tired. I'm sick and tired. Now get the car, you old slut.

Ruby: Fix your hair. You look like a damn cockatoo.

Viola Fields: The flower girls are drunk again.

Viola Fields: I cannot believe she compared me to Gertrude.
Ruby: I know. Now that's just wrong.
Viola Fields: Thank You.
Ruby: You are far worse. I don't recall Gertrude ever trying to poison you. And I'm pretty sure she wore black to your wedding.
Viola Fields: Black. Yeah, she said she was in mourning. I just want my son to be happy.
Ruby: Whatever made you think he wasn't?

Ruby: Charlie's face will blow up like a balloon.
Viola Fields: Good, then it will match the rest of her body.

Viola Fields: That slut is practically fornicating with him.
Ruby: I don't blame her, that boy's one fine piece of ass.

Viola Fields: What do you do for fun?
Pop Star: I love watching really old movies. They're my favorite.
Viola Fields: Really? Really? Which ones?
Pop Star: Well, "Grease" and "Grease II." Um, "Benji." I love "Benji." "Free Willy," um..."Legally Blonde," "The Little Mermaid."

Dr. Kevin Fields: What are you doing the rest of your life?

Viola Fields: I thought you were dead, but evil doesn't die so easily.

Viola Fields: Let's go someplace near the ocean and drink lunch.