Best comedy movie quotes of 1995

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Movie Quote Quiz
Canadian Bacon picture

Kabral: The black guy always dies. Think about it, man. Unforgiven. Alien. Rocky IV. The Shining.
Roy: Star Trek II. Forrest Gump. Witness.
Bud: Annie Hall. Not Annie Hall.
Roy: No, Night of the Living Dead.
Bud: That's the one!
Kabral: And what about that brother in Jurassic Park, man?
Bud: There were two black guys who died in that one. That was a twofer. You must be really pissed off at that one.

Bishop73

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Waiting to Exhale picture

Bernadine Harris: The worst thing is that he made me move out here where my children are in school with only one other black kid so they won't be improperly influenced. Well, guess what John, YOU'RE the motherfuckin' improper influence! Get your shit! Get your shit! And, get out.

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Underground picture

Marko: We're all crazy, Natalija. We just haven't been diagnosed yet.

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Welcome to the Dollhouse picture

Ralphie: You think you're hot shit, but you're really just cold diarrhea.

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Wallace & Gromit: A Close Shave picture

Wendolene Ramsbottom: He's malfunctioning.
Wallace: Mal what?
Wendolene Ramsbottom: Malfunctioning. Preston is a cyberdog.
Wallace: Cyber what?
Wendolene Ramsbottom: A robot. Daddy created him for good, but he's turned out evil.

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Bad Boys picture

Marcus Burnett: You see what happens when you go off without me? You get into shit.
Mike Lowrey: Oh please, like shit don't happen when you're there.
Marcus Burnett: That - that ain't the point.

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Father of the Bride Part II picture

George Banks: Mr Habeeb, this is not a piece of land. This is my home and I'm gonna be a father again and I don't want to bring my baby home to a condo on the beach! I wanna drive down that street and I wanna pull into this driveway and I wanna honk my horn.

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Grumpier Old Men picture

Maria: Ox.
Max: Nag.

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Houseguest picture

Ron Timmerman: I wash my balls religiously. I like 'em so clean you can just feel every dimple.
Kevin Franklin: Thank you for sharing that.
Ron: The cleaner the ball, the better the play. Especially when you pull out that wood. The quicker you get it into the hole with the least amount of strokes, the better, right?
Kevin: Are you trying to tell me something?
Ron: Let me wash your balls.

Bishop73

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Something to Talk About picture

Grace: Emma Rae, I have a cookbook to put out, and a daughter to raise, and the God damn winter Grand Prix. And I just don't have time for the nervous breakdown I deserve, so please, don't ask me to stop and think.

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Nine Months picture

Dr. Kosevich: I've got it! Nurse, call the Anesthesiologist, this woman needs an enema.
Samuel, Rebecca, Nurse: An enema?
Dr. Kosevich: No, uh, she needs a pedicure.
Nurse: This ain't no goddam beauty parlor.
Dr. Kosevich: Epitath.
Samuel Faulkner: She's not dead, you moron.
Dr. Kosevich: Epidermus... Uh.
Rebecca Taylor: Epidural, asshole.

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Tommy Boy picture

Tommy: You know a lot of people go to college for seven years.
Richard: I know. They're called doctors.

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A Goofy Movie picture

Max: Why are you doing this to me, Dad?
Goofy: 'Cause, I don't want you to end up in the electric chair.

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To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar picture

Vida Boheme: I think tomorrow is a "Say Something" hat day.

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Boys on the Side picture

Holly: Did I hurt him?
Jane: What do you mean did you hurt him, you hit him with a bat.

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The American President picture

Lucy Shepherd: Do you see it as part of your job to torture me?
President Andrew Shepherd: No, just one of the perks.

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It Takes Two picture

Diane Barrows: It was there, I know it, that can't-eat, can't-sleep, reach-for-the-stars, over - the-fence, World Series kind of stuff.

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Billy Madison picture

High School Principal: Mr. Madison, what you've just said, is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response, were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
Billy Madison: OK, a simple "wrong" would have done just fine.

Bishop73

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Funny Bones picture

Bruno Parker: I never saw anything funny that didn't cause pain.

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Stuart Saves His Family picture

Stuart Smalley: Because what they say is true - it's easier to put on slippers than to carpet the whole world.

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