Danny Vermin: I enjoy collecting protection money, putting whores to work, loan-sharking. I enjoy planting bombs in people's cars. These are a few of my favorite things.
Johnny Dangerously: You know, Danny, I think you get too much sugar in your diet.
Terry Brogan: So what is it you don't like exactly, football players, tacos, or beer?
Jessie Wyler: I like tacos and beer.
Starman: You are a strange species. Not like any other. And you would be surprised how many there are. Intelligent but savage. Shall I tell you what I find beautiful about you? You are at your very best when things are worst.
Apollonia: Will you help me?
The Kid: No.
Apollonia: Pardon me?
The Kid: Nope... Wanna know why?
Apollonia: Nope.
The Kid: Because you wouldn't pass the initiation.
Apollonia: What initiation?
The Kid: Well, for starters, you have to purify yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka.
Apollonia: What?
The Kid: You have to purify yourself in Lake Minnetonka.
[She strips down, and runs towards the lake.]
The Kid: Hey! Wait a minute! That's...
[She jumps in. She gets out shivering.]
The Kid: Uh, hold it...
Apollonia: What?
The Kid: That ain't Lake Minnetonka.
Guardsman: Hey, you! Move that cab out of here, right now.
Vinny: Up yours, Gomer. I'm waiting on a fare.
Teddy Pierce: While Didi was waiting for me in San Francisco, Charlotte was waiting in Los Angeles. Two women waiting for me in the middle of the night. Crazy as it seems, I had adventure in my life.
O'Brien: If you want a vision of the future, Winston, imagine a boot stamping on a human face forever.
Roger: You'll have to do it.
Edwina Cutwater: Do what?
Roger: You know, take it out.
Edwina Cutwater: Take what out?
Roger: The little fireman.
Edwina Cutwater: The little fireman?
Roger: You know, my penis.
Edwina Cutwater: How dare you say penis to a dead person.
Irv Manders: You men are tresspassin. Show me a warrant or get off my land.
Agent: We don't need a warrant.
Irv Manders: You do unless I woke up in Russia this morning.
Jake Scully: I like to watch.
Holly Body: Makes you hot, doesn't it?
Jake Scully: Yeah.
Holly Body: Makes me hot too. Why don't you come over here and I'll show you how hot?
Walter Curnow: I feel so stupid. How do you say, 'stupid'?
Maxim Brajlovsky: Durak.
Walter Curnow: That's me.
Maxim Brajlovsky: You shouldn't feel like that. The same thing happened to me the first time I did this.
Walter Curnow: When have you ever done this before?
Maxim Brajlovsky: Never.
Iris Gaines: You know, I believe we have two lives.
Roy Hobbs: How... what do you mean?
Iris Gaines: The life we learn with and the life we live with after that.
SOD McKinley: I don't give a flying handshake what your name is.
Bill the Frog: How about this? Ocean Breeze Soap: It's just like taking an ocean cruise, only there's no boat and you don't actually go anywhere.
Matthew Hollis: Last night never happened.
Jennifer Lyons: I know. I was there when it didn't.