Alf Stewart: He's as crooked as a dog's hind leg.
White Hole - S4-E4
Rimmer: The thing about Captain Oates... The thing you have to remember about Captain Oates... Captain Oates... Captain Oates was a prat.
Michelle: I thought you never lied.
Austin: I don't. It's just that sometimes I withhold the qualifiers.
Michelle: For somebody who says facts are all that count, Mr. Jimmy Austin, you're the most deceitful person I know.
Austin: I once determined that there are forty-nine different ways to misrepresent the truth. I only use six, way below the national average of thirty-two.